Been on the struggle bus a little bit lately!
I think it's something in the air, since I feel like a lot of my friends are in a similar place. It's the weird threshold of not being at threat level midnight depression, but just being a little bit "off" and feeling exhausted all the time. Some of it may honestly be the seasonal change, since one thing I've noticed about my thirties is that the transitions between seasons are more notable on my brain and body. Some of it may just be that sometimes life can be kind of exhausting in ways that catch up with you!
In any case, it's disrupted my routines and I'm only just coming out on the other side of it. I took yesterday off work as a mental health day and that helped a lot; I puttered around at a slow pace, caught up on tasks I'd not had the energy for (small stuff like repotting a plant, preparing a package to get mailed, hanging up a picture, etc. -- stuff that doesn't fall under Required or Necessary in terms of tasks, but that builds up and adds to background stress), and tried to spend some time outside enjoying the temporarily cool weather. Today I'm still not at 100%, but was able to wake up without feeling dreadful about it, go on my run, and generally exist as more of a person than a zombie. It just gets to me, sometimes, the feeling that I'll never have the time and the energy to create the things I want to create, and that I should be spending my time off more productively, but then when I do get time off I'm just so tired, which repeats the cycle.
Anyways, I'm back at work today and trying to get back into writing again and generally tend to my routines, since they're the only way I can manage to create anything at all. Hope everyone is well!
