ELSEWHERE

man what a great D&D session!!! telling stories with friends really cures what ails ya

I make-ded this

Accidentally dropped the mirror I use when I shave my head and it shattered into a katrillion billion pieces and my first thought was "thank god Sophie isn't here" because I cannot fucking handle other humans screaming GOD FUCKING DAMN IT in anger-fear when they break something or there's a loud noise or whatever

Then my thought was, lemme go get a pair of shoes to protect my feet and I will clean the mess because it was just a mirror and we're aaaaaaall okay

(my third thought was thank god I dropped it after I shaved my head or then I would've had a broken mirror and a half-shaved head and a dilemma on my hands)

Kind of an interesting thing happening with my Polish lessons, which is I can actively feel my brain translating from Polish to English, and then back to Polish if that makes sense? For instance, when my teacher and I are going over what words to put in a sentence---

I see: Ma na ____ Erika
I think: My name (is) Erika, oh, so it needs to be ...
I say: Ma na imię Erika

It's hilariously inefficient but it is an improvement on what my brain was doing before, which is ????? and relying on memorization, so, progress! It's just kind of interesting to see my brain rewire itself very slowly to the thing, since I've never attempted to learn a language before.

I ended up going with a lesson every other week, with a focus on studying Tues/Thurs as dedicated times and just when I'm able to make time otherwise. That's working ok so far, I'll adjust as needed if I start to feel overwhelmed by the new material. Today we just started to work on verbs, so!

So yesterday I was hanging out with Dax (he was helping me with my Baylen deck, which I appreciate!) and, while doing so, I decided to make my grocery list. For the first time since the break-up I was like oh hey! Let me get out the recipe binder and kinda look at some stuff I've made in the past, because I've been really struggling lately with food apathy and I do wanna try to eat a little better and more consistently.

Anyway, that's how I discovered Sophie took all the recipes from the binder, which is weirdly the most upsetting break-up thing that she's done. I'm a bit sensitive to this highly specific type of theft, because I have a sore spot about some related consequences of being disowned for my sexuality. I've lost access to family recipes and all related forms of family tradition, which has caused hurt to me that Sophie, in particular, is aware of.

Anyway, she left a few, but very much only a few, so I have one soup recipe (lentils, which she doesn't like) and two baking recipes (she does not bake). The rest of them are gone. These weren't priceless treasures, to be extremely clear, in that most of them were printed off websites or written down from YouTube tutorials or just outright recipe cards from the brief period of time I subscribed to Blue Apron. But I guess they kinda were priceless treasures, because the loss absolutely gutted me -- it was the totality of the recipes I had gathered since moving out on my own.

It's salvageable, for sure, I have a lot of online recipes and the beginnings of a friends-cookbook I've had sitting around for years. Maybe I'll use this as the inspiration to finally finish it? I dunno.

This one hurt.

That is so incredibly fucking messed up and i am so sorry.

Like…. excessively, pettily messed up. Cruel. What the fuck.

I am so incredibly ready to move

Related to recent events, I've asked this in the past for family recipes but if you just generally have any recipes recently you thought turned out really great then link em to me if they're available online! I am pretty open to most cuisines and types of food. I like spicy food. I do not like mushrooms but unless the dish is focused on mushrooms, can substitute them for something else or remove them. I am not an inherently skilled cook but can follow a recipe just fine.