Promiseland

[Fetian]

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Last day of class! We went over the Chapter 17 kanji and read a passage (in Japanese) about Yoko Ono. Before break, the professor went over, like, post-class stuff like how to get in touch with her if we need a reference (since she is in fact retiring, now) and passing on that theeeeee fuck, I'm blanking on what the name was, but a Japanese cultural association or something has offered free memberships to the students of this class (even if they don't have Japanese heritage). She'll be forwarding that email to us, as well.

But aside from that it was a pretty normal class and at the end she kind of rushed us off. In general, as I've mentioned, this class was not super engaging and I feel like the professor was not putting her all into it, which is disappointing. Classmates were overall not notable, Disruptive Student was honestly barely in the class, there was one very annoying Well Actually student who I would have preferred have not been allowed to interrupt as much as he did, but he at least didn't pick fights with anyone and the information he kept Well Actually-ing into conversations was actually correct. Most of the students seemed to be there to learn the material

I have four pages of homework, the chapter 17 quiz, and the final and then I am Done.

 
After class, ash and I ate dinner and watched Dragula. This week was the reunion/Last Supper episode and it was really good. I've really been enjoying this cast, honestly -- it helps that most of the insufferable ones were disqualified pretty early on and dropped from the show. I'm extremely happy with this final four we're getting and really looking forward to seeing what they all come up with for next week

That was an hour and a half long, so after that we watched a shortish Jacksfilm and then the Into the Woods YTP and then ash went to bed. And then I went to play Smalland with Dave! Which I am doing right now while I write this. I just spent like two hours harvesting iron scrap, so by god we should be good on that for a while

I am also doing laundry because someone peed on my bed. So hopefully that doesn't keep me up too terribly late, but hey, I don't have class tomorrow, so if I have to stay up a little late I guess that's not terrible

[Fetian]

A nickname is a name you've nicked from someone else

[Fetian]

It's friday and the person running the conlang relay has not publicly nagged the next torch-bearer at all

[Fetian]

So yesterday at four I went out to the living room to do the 'get the house ready for people to be home' thing, the taking the plastic off the furniture, fluffing and rotating the couch cushions, realigning the table, etc. Sometimes Ivy will ask to go out when I go out there, and usually she asks to come back in by the time I'm done and going back to my room, but yesterday I let her out and then didn't notice that she never asked to come back in. An hour later Erik got home and was looking for Ivy, and when I said she was outside he told me that the gate was open, so she must be lost in the neighbourhood somewhere. We both rushed out to go look for her -- Erik did a loop around our part of the neighbourhood and then went home to get his car, and I did a loop by the thoroughfare our street is off of and then went back to grab my bike (and to doublecheck that she was in fact not in the backyard). Before I could get my bike out, though, Erik informed chat that he had found Ivy -- she'd seen his car and ran over to be let into it. She'd wandered over to a neighbourhood near ours, actually the one I'd gone to to deliver the misdelivered package on Thanksgiving. She must have gotten lost and not been able to find her way home

We're lucky to have found her, but I'm very confused why the gate was open. We can only guess the pool guy came yesterday instead of his usual Wednesday and no one told us, though I would normally have noticed him being outside my room

 
Today I walked to the bank to put some more of my savings into it, so I can afford the Christmas presents I want to get Erik and ash. It's quite cold out, but I bundled up and so it was a nice walk, listening to nice music, though my legs are still not used to activity and hurt a fair amount pretty shortly into it. I actually think I'm not used to non-barefoot-shoes now and they're messing up my gait. Hopefully I adjust to them soon

On the way home I stopped to try to give a homeless woman some money, but she refused the dollar I gave her, and all of the others in my wallet, because they were printed by the fifth Federal Reserve Bank and I assume she has a superstition about the number 5. I hope someone with bills printed by a different bank can help her

 
I am playing Horses, after fighting a little to get it working on the steamdeck. I'm barely into it so I don't have any opinions yet, but if I have anything to say about it I will of course share

Anyone out of the loop: Horses is an absurdist horror game where the horses are actually naked human beings, and you are helping to manage a farm with said horses on it. It's inspired by vintage Italian horror, and it's in the news because Steam and the Epic Games Store refuse to carry it, the developer believes because an early build featured a little girl riding on a naked woman. Anyway it has this content warning:

CONTENT WARNING: This game contains scenes of physical violence, psychological abuse, gory imagery (mutilation, blood), depictions of slavery, physical and psychological torture, domestic abuse, sexual assault, suicide, and misogyny. The inclusion of these elements is intended to depict and characterize a fictional world and its fictional inhabitants. The presence of these elements is not an endorsement of them, nor do they reflect the beliefs or values of the creators. Some scenes also feature unsettling sounds, such as chewing and swallowing, which may be disturbing for players with sound sensitivities or related phobias. Character dialogue also includes references to psychological trauma that may be upsetting, especially for those who may have had similar experiences in their pasts. Player discretion is advised. If you feel uncomfortable or upset while playing, please consider stepping away and reaching out to someone you trust.

So you know I've got to give it a try.

[Fetian]

Alright, here's my verdict on Horses:

Eh.

Everyone saying that if Steam and EGS hadn't banned it, no one would really care about this game are correct. It wants very badly to make you uncomfortable and I wish it succeeded but it's just kind of nothing. It's Garry's Mod models having sex by jerking against each other and the developer going "Doesn't that make you think about capitalism?"

There are definitely ideas here, and some of the cinematic choices are great. But it's not weird enough, and I don't care about any of the characters enough to be uncomfortable with the choices I'm being forced to make (eg beating a "horse" with a crop). I want way more ambiguity on what the horses are for much longer, I want to have to live in this world for much longer (each day is a few minutes long, during which you do a couple of tasks and don't interact with the "horses" much). The game is much too grounded in reality, with a few nods toward surrealism. And by god I want my choices and decisions to mean something, and I want them to mean something bad. I want to hate that it's making me choose to do something but I want to be choosing to do it. I keep thinking about how awful it felt to play Mouthwashing, because every choice was a decision between letting things stay bad or making them worse -- here, every decision is just, whatever. My choices don't mean anything and even if they did, I don't care about what effect they're going to have because these are just dolls being made to fuck each other

If you're going to have rape and abuse in your games, you've got to make me feel something about it. And I don't think the developer(s) included this stuff on a whim, I think they genuinely are trying to say something. I just don't think they have the skill to do it. It's all very heavy-handed and obvious, like I see them using the Kuleshov effect to create unease in the audience but I see them doing it, you know.

Like I say there are interesting ideas, there is an attempt at something that could be really powerful. I'm sad that Horses is probably not going to do well and the studio developing it is probably going to shut down. But I hope the people who made it do not give up on making games

[Fetian]

Just tried a second playthrough to see if there were other endings or anything and choices truly make no difference. Nothing you do will change anything, the characters will all treat you exactly the same way regardless of whether you obey the farmer or if you try to be a little shit. Refusing to agree to help the horses results in them telling you their plan anyway and then you can't advance the game without doing it. If you refuse to "poison" the "dog" the farmer tells you the horses attacked the dog when it found out about their plan and killed it, and then later the farmer has his line about the horses "poisoning" the dog anyway. If you attempt to "forgive" the farmer the horse just takes over the revenge plot and forces you to participate. Nothing matters.

[Fetian]

Here's what especially niggles me about the whole thing -- at the end of the game is a sequence where you control all the horses as they walk to the farm's entrance, finally free.

Walk. To the entrance.

For god's sake, they're horses! They're free! They should be running! This should be triumphant!

[Fetian]

It's because the devs didn't have the skills or the money to include other model animations

That said I appreciate the horses have a truly diverse range of body types, so it's got that going for it

[Fetian]

If they're not going to run, if this is going to be a 'they have achieved their goal, but at what cost?' sort of exhaustion, then they should look more exhausted. This is just their standard walking animation and speed, they look like they're going on a casual stroll.

[erikavonkaiser]

Thanks for the analysis! That was honestly what I kinda figured, and it's a shame it's being held back and has become central to censorship controversy regardless of quality, but also.......Eh