ELSEWHERE

I will also say this is the second time I have explicitly put off doing something that's good for me largely because of other people's warning stories; one of the (several, to be fair) reasons I put off getting anxiety meds was the sheer amount of "oh god it took me forever to get the right meds and it was a miserable process" horror stories I was met with. I just remember thinking "if the process of getting on meds makes you worse before you get better, I can't handle getting worse." But as with the dentist, getting meds ended up not being so bad and was super valuable to me.

It's just tough when you already have OCD doombrain, because my brain is not reasonable or fair about worst case scenarios, which is something I should try to remember going forward

(also people should generally be less weirdly trauma-dumping about meds in particular imho, getting the right balance of meds can absolutely be a chaotic shitshow but a "oh yeah good luck and great job for doing the thing!" is fine sometimes, anxiety internet queers, SHEESH)

happy gay rabbit day

anxiety.jpg

The temperature dropped really sharply overnight so when I woke up it was to the sensation of needing to burrow deeper into my covers and hide from humanity forever. Thankfully it's my Sunday equivalent, so I did just that and snuggled with my nice warm dog for a bit before finally braving the cold to get up and turn the heater on/get dressed/walkies Baby/etc. Now I'm sitting in front of my space heater to enjoy more warms while I have my coffeedrank, and otherwise have the day ahead of me!

My weekend was kinda stressful but I have D&D later, which I'm excited for, and I've also started draft two of my novel last night! That's actually a huge thing that deserves its own post but I am cozy and sleepy so I will tend to that later.

I used to be harsher on myself about trying to eat a wide variety of meals but I have reached the point where if I want to eat tomato sandwiches three days straight then hey man, at least I'm eating and not wasting ingredients, it'll sort itself out with multivitamins and having some oranges and veggies as snacks

Monday equivalent!

I wish I had been able to properly enjoy my weekend a bit more, but ah well! February seems like it's been an "off" month for a lot of people, I dunno. I guess there's only two more weeks of it left, which is itself unsettling, because wasn't it Christmas two minutes ago????