The food negativity thread

[Fetian]

Share food struggles here

[knightofcups]

Disordered eating stuff down there
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Ok. I am struggling a LOT to eat frequently enough and actually enough, and it is frustrating me a lot.

I'm not really food /averse/ overall, but I am SUPER food apathetic, and the actually process of eating-- the actions and sensations-- are pretty damn unpleasant, unless I happen to figure out the exact right food I want at the exact right time. And even THEN it's only ok for a little while before it becomes ick again.

I'm finding myself able to eat enough to be not-actively-hungry, but not able to push myself to eat such that I'm actually /full./ Which means I am hungry again almost immediately.

I usually manage this by snacking, but the process of eating right now isn't working for me so snacking is somewhere on the spectrum of meh to ick, and I don't /think/ about it, or if I do it sounds gross so I put it off.

I'm telling myself I can have whatever I'll eat, but I don't /want/ anything.

On top of that, the labor of making food is just enough that I don't want to bother for something I won't actually want to eat.

But the above is mostly an issue because I /am/ hungry, which means I'm crashy, low-energy, and grumpy. Which I am because I haven't been eating enough. Which I /know/ but can't seem to fix.

It's a very, very frustrating vicious cycle-- I don't eat enough so I get hungry fast, but then I'm crashy, and irritable, and don't want to put in the effort needed to actually get something to eat or, frankly, actually /eat/ it. And I KNOW it's that I need to eat, I am fully aware of it, but I am struggling SO HARD to do anything about it besides just know it's a problem and throw up my hands.

BUT ALSO I need (and want!) to get things done, and I don't have the energy/brain/desire to do them when I'm hungry but I'm fine when I'm not. Except when I'm hungry ....

asfd.iltawersdljk.l

I'm going to get smoothy stuff at some point, probably tomorrow? But I cannot live on fruit and yogurt smoothies.

I do not even know what the point of posting this is except to yell into the void.

[knightofcups]

Observation:
One of the things I used to do to avoid eating "too much" was dish up less than I thought I wanted, so that I would be forced to take the time to go back and get/make more and maybe would get busy or distracted, or decide I was full, etc.

And I still do it now, but it's messing me up, because it's doing exactly what it's "supposed" to do, but I don't need or want it anymore.

Need to think about how to deal with this, because I don't want to take /more/ than I want because food waste and guilt.

[Fetian]

The window between 'kind of hungry' and 'waited too long to eat' is way too small, someone patch this