The Cracked Mug v 2.0

[erikakaiser]

I miss my dog

In the saga of grief being big and small, it's been very big lately; last night I struggled to sleep because I was mourning not being able to cuddle with Baby Dog anymore, or ever again. Subsequently I woke up pretty late today and in a melancholy mood, which I tried to sort out with a long run. It helped a little, but it's just kind of a melancholy day, and I guess that's okay.

I am writing, at least. I want to use my energy, in all its turmoils, to make something, and I am trying.

I'd give anything for just a little more time.

[erikakaiser]

Also I forgot to get milk at the grocery store yesterday and now I have to walk to Aldi and back real quick to get some before tomorrow, or I won't be able to take coffee to work with me

I perish

[erikakaiser]

Ow

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[erikakaiser]

Last year I cut way back on social media presence (deleted Facebook, repurposed Goodreads and Instagram) so I am neutral about getting rid of Twitter so long as I still have a venue to find artists to commission

In my ongoing effort to ensure my relationship with social media is a positive thing in my life, I may save my Instagram pictures and then delete my account. I watch reels without really paying attention to it and sometimes while actively being annoyed at how bad the algorithm is (it seems to get easily ... distracted??? and does not have great tools for me to say "not this type of content ever, thanks") and ... honestly, my account feels a bit like a memorial to my deceased dog that I don't want to post on anymore, and don't feel a need to keep up. I want to keep the pictures, though.

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Anyways, that would leave me with Bluesky, Goodreads, Discord, and here, which I think is plenty for me.

[erikakaiser]

Oh I guess I have Pinterest, too, although I don't know if that counts as social media and I think I have a like saved on bsky to look into alternatives that aren't as AI-heavy

I don't use Pinterest very often anymore but it would be nice to have something that fills the "I need to make a board of references/inspo" gap I occasionally need for projects

[erikakaiser]

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[erikakaiser]

It has been too cold to function, and yesterday I had a bit of a headache from temperature swings, so I've mostly been surviving this week! Still keeping up with routines okay, but not much brain otherwise. Tomorrow is my Friday equivalent, which is good.

and yeah I know America is doing a thing but I am starting to get outright physically stressed by seeing gloom and doom everywhere I look and I just don't wanna talk about it

[erikakaiser]

and yeah I know America is doing a thing but I am starting to get outright physically stressed by seeing gloom and doom everywhere I look and I just don't wanna talk about it

I still gotta, like, live here and go to work and shit

[Sorcyress]

I am right there with you on the Ameri-bullshit. Like, I didn't watch the inaugeration on purpose, and now I feel like I probably need to rejigger my Bluesky feeds again because I didn't want to see all that, thanks.

I appreciate that I have a friend who does weekly or every-two-weeks news roundups (beginning year 9, so that tells you when she started) and I need to set up my life so I can engage with those (have some level of inform) without constantly looking at the rest of it.

(Sorry for talking about it)

[erikakaiser]

@Sorcyress Yeah, I feel like there's already so much guilt from wanting to A Clockwork Orange force myself to watch, because why should I look away??? Why do I get to have peace??? What kinda privileged asshole am I????

At the same time I know that my personal misery does not make things better, but also!!! is just existing and creating as a queer person "good enough" or am I hiding behind myself? I'm informed and I'm trying and voting, but nothing feels like enough and constantly talking about it and watching Elon Musk do a Nazi salute on live television over and over and over again isn't,

I'm just tired

I'm proud of everyone who keeps on even though they're tired, though (especially my friends! especially you!) so I should probably try to be a little prouder of myself